Still here...

This post marks the end of several things.

First of all, it marks the end of the gap in posting frequency.  I was really trying to hit at least one post a week, but the weekend of Easter ended that streak.

Secondly, it marks the end of the best times at Outpace.  You see, for the past year and a half I've been working with the most talented team I've ever seen assembled in one place.  The Thursday before Easter weekend, 60% of the development staff got fired as a result of sudden and unexpected revenue issues.  I dodged that axe, as did Tanya.  Even so, I struggle to describe the sense of loss I'm still feeling even now.

It's strange to realize how much I care for my (now former) coworkers considering we are a 100% remote development shop.  I feel their absence very keenly.  It's been really difficult to forge ahead knowing that they won't be here to help shoulder the load.

Don't misunderstand me -- both Tanya and I feel extremely fortunate to still be employed, and working with some truly superb people.  I just didn't expect to be affected as severely as I have been.

I'm not sure why, but this poem came to mind this week.  Take it for what you will... I happen rather to like it.  :-)

“You darkness, that I come from,
I love you more than all the fires
that fence in the world,
for the fire makes
a circle of light for everyone,
and then no one outside learns of you.

But the darkness pulls in everything:
shapes and fires, animals and myself,
how easily it gathers them! -
powers and people -

and it is possible a great energy
is moving near me.

I have faith in nights.”


― Rainer Maria Rilke